Setting Boundaries and Finding Balance After COVID
As vaccines have been rolling out and COVID cases are going down, we are beginning to see things opening up again. We can work in the office again, we can go to restaurants and bars again, we can hug friends and family members we haven’t seen in months, or over a year! This is all really exciting and good news, right?! To some extent yes, there is a lot to be celebrated, but one thing that I am noticing more and more in talking to people is that this also bringing up a lot of worry, dread, and expectations.
COVID has definitely had negative impacts on mental health that most people are aware of or have experienced themselves (depression, helplessness, hopelessness, isolation, fear, grief, etc.) However, over the past year, there have been some positive things that have come out of it. For example, some people have spent more time with family, spent more time with themselves, been forced to slow down, learned a new hobby, gotten in touch with their creative side, adopted a new furry family member, saved money by staying in, or maybe even tried out therapy for the first time. One of the things that has stood out with talking to people, even more than the excitement for all of the negative things to lighten, is the fear of losing the good that has come. I have heard people mention feeling an obligation to go out with friends every weekend because that was not an option for so long, fear of losing themselves in work again now that their job has come back or the office has opened back up, worry that their creativity or hobby will soon become a distant memory now that life is “back to normal” and there are so many other priorities back on the to-do list. Let me let you in on a little secret: just because you have the option of going “back to the way things were,” doesn’t mean you have to! Two words, balance and boundaries.
Boundaries
It is okay to set boundaries with our loved ones, even if we did not get to see them as much as we wanted over the past 14 months. Spend as much time with your friends and family as you want, but you are not obligated to make up for 14 months of distance in the next two months. It is okay to set boundaries with work and friends to spend time with your family or by yourself. There is no limit on self-care, and even if you spent the past 14 months primarily focused on self-care that does not mean you aren’t allowed to for another 6 months.
Balance
Discovered your new found love for baking bread this past year? It’s okay to wait to do the laundry until tomorrow to get in your baking time, even if you don’t need to make the bread. So many of us tend to talk ourselves out of the things we want to do and like to do because we view them as rewards for accomplishing our never ending list of tasks. Taking care of ourselves and enjoying the lives we’re building is just as much (if not more) of a priority than everything else on our to-do list. So ask yourself: “Is that thing I need to do today really a need?” “What will happen if I don’t get it done today?” and “Is it my need or is somebody else telling me this should be a priority?”
So celebrate things opening back up again and being able to spend time with people you haven’t seen in a year, but don’t lose everything you’ve gained too. Check in with yourself, take time for yourself, set the boundaries you need to set, and spend just as much time doing what you want to do, as the time spent doing what you “have to do.”
